IKR! I have been working for a call center industry for the last 5 YEARS I think. So from those years I have experience a lot of Funny moments and Funny Quotes and Funny Moments (Again!) which I would like to share with you.
Disclaimer : This are shared because it's funny but not to boast around. I'm also not PERFECT. I'm also included in here, just so you know! Enjoy! =)
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(Collections...)
CUSTOMER (Cx) : Why do you keep calling me? I already told you I can't make the payment.
AGENT : For your information. I'm not the one calling you, it's the machine. (oo nga naman, hindi nga naman manually dialled yon di'ba... hahaha..)
(Collections...)
Cx : no hablo Ingles. me espanol pro favor...
Agent : no hablo espanyol senyor.. let me tranfirir to the departamento espanyol... (si KOYA, may sariling dictionary ng Spanish oh....sabay dial nang Spanish department...hahaha)
(Collections...)
Cx: (unauthorized person calling...about the account...) I am the mother of the account holder. I would like to know the amount of the bill so I can pay it. My daughter is not here but She gave me permission.
Agent : I apologized.. But we need to speak with your daughter GIRL.. (ahmm, KOYA, my daughter BOY ba?...lol)
(Collections...)
Cx : (shouting...) I told you I already made the payment, why do you keep calling me?...
Agent : It's not the biological person that is calling you it's the machine... (..science ito,, KOYA...lol)
(Technical...)
Agent : Let me put you on hold. I will need permission from my supervisor..
Cx : (Murmuring..) Stupid Moron!
Agent : (hears it..) what did you say? I think I heard something..
Cx : Oh I said that your very kind and very helpful...
Agent : Oh, why thank you. I'm sure my supervisor would love to hear that too.. (ahmm.. nanghingi pa nang commendation si ATE oh...lol)
(Collections...)
Agent #1 : Hi my name is KC. Account number please...
Cx : account # 12345236367...
(Agent #2 seating infront of Agent #1...receives a call..)
Agent #2 : Hi my name is Stephanie... How can I help you?
Agent #1: (HearsAgent #2...) .. I'm done with your payment Mr. Cx.. Again my name is Stephanie.. Thank you for calling.. (ay, si ATe may Identity crisis...)
(Billing...)
Agent : Hi my name is Maya from Billing. What can I do for you?..
Cx : I want to know the breakdown of the bill...
Agent : Sure I'll be more than happy too give you the breakdown... blahblah...
(after giving the breakdown...)
Agent : Did I sort things out for you. I'm glad. Again my name is Czari. Have a great day!
(ay..may identity crisis din teh...lol)
(Collections...)
Agent : (very sleepy..) Hi. Thank you for calling. How may I help you?
Cx : I want to make a payment..
Agent : (still very sleepy..) That's good to know. Let me assist then. Can I take your debit card #?
Cx : debit card #... 12343455...
Agent : (super sleepy...) I'm sorry I didn't get all of it... can you repeat it?
Cx : (2nd time) debit card # 123455...
Agent : (one-eye open now because of very sleepy...) I really do apologized, but I didn't get it... Would you like to repeat it.
Cx : OMG! Would you like to take the payment or not...? I have a lot of things to do...
Agent : OPO! (ay,, biglang naging magalang kaso teh TAGALOG! EOP pls.lol...)
(Technical...)
Agent : (sleepy...) Hi this is REN. How can I help you?
Cx : I have a problem with my DVR?..
Agent : Sure. I'll help you out... What's the problem?
Cx : Here's what happen... blah...blah...blah... jargon...jargon..jargon...
Agent : (sleepy..) ANO? (EOP pls...lol....)
(Billing...)
Agent : Hi I'm Anne from Billing. How can I assist you?
Cx : (Irate..) You stupid moron... Bitch.. Stupid.. blah...blah..
Agent : I'm sorry If you can give me your name and your details. I might be able to assist you..
Cx: (still Irate..) you bastard... stupid moron... blah.. blah..
Agent : I'm sorry. but we don't tolerate that kind of profanity over the phone. This is your first warning. I will need to disconnect you if you won't stop.
Cx : (still irate...) You stupid moron ..bitch... bitch..bitch..Fuck you...
Agent : Oh. I see you're giving me your name... Thank you for that information... (lol..mautak si Ate noh..sinong tanga ngayon?)
(Billing...)
Agent : Hi thank you for calling.. My name is...
Cx : (interrupts..) Why are you charging me this amount on my bill.. It's pretty high. Explain..
Agent : I would love to. Can you give me your account # so I can take a look at you bill?
Cx: (gave information..)
Agent : Thank you. (takes a look at the bill.) I see those are short code #/'s.
Cx; (irate...) Shortcodes?!?, what are those??, I'm THE ONLY PERSON WHO'S USING MY MOBILE PHONE. NO ONE ELSE...
Agent : Let see.. (further checked) Ahh.. those are shortcodes from Adult services.. here are the information, the Date/Time/ and how many times... and usually....
Cx : (interrupts...) I don't want to know about them anymore.. Let me make the payment then... (ayun oh, huli kaw noh...manyakis..lol...)
(Billing...)
Cx : I want to make a payment..
(processed the payt..)
Agent : I have already processed your payment. Do you have a PEN and a PEPPER?? (magluluto teh..?lol..)
(Billing...)
Cx: I want to make a payment..
(processed the payment..)
Agent : I have already processed yhour payment. Would you like to write the authorization code?
Cx: Yes please..
Cx : Do you have a Pen and BALLPEN ready?... (yun oh, para may choices...kaso saan kaya isusulat?...lol.....)
(Collections...)
Cx: I want to make a payment.
Agent : sure. I'll be more than happy to take your payment. can I have the debit card # pls.?
Cx : 12345665...blah...blah..
Agent : What's YOUR expiration date Sir?
Cx : What???
Agent : I need YOUR expiration date Sir, the month and the date (ahhh specific... pala...)
Cx : January 2012... (Sumagot naman.... si LOKO!)
Agent : that's near Sir... hehe... (at nagbuild pa nang rapport si KOYA oh... lol)
Cx : Yeah I know... (at sumagot nama si KOYA... hahaha...) WINNER!
***
You see marami-marami yan.. eto lang ang mga examples ba.. Kaya kahit napakahirap nang aming ginagawa, hindi mo rin maiiwasan na mapansin ang ganitong kamalian. Nakakatuwa di'ba. Enjoy. =)
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